If there is ever two pictures that sum up the difference between heading off to Ibiza, and coming back, it’s these two from our friend Spongebob…

And MAN have I experienced Bob’s pain.

In fact having gone for my ninth time in 2017, and with the closing parties in full swing, I thought I’d share my easy-peasy day of detox, that will have you back to your usual self before you can say ‘shall we go for opening parties next year?’.

This is also great for post-festival, post-hen weekend… in fact any time when you go a wee bit overboard.

The excitement of jetting off to the White Isle is almost indescribable. It’s like an electrical buzz under the surface of your skin, through your very own circuit board, that catches you, like an enjoyable jolt, and makes you fire off messages to friends saying things like ‘one day to go’ and ‘beeeefa baby’!!!!

And the WONDER the place can bring, the MAGIC – only those who have been will understand. Whether you’re a San Antonio virgin, or an Old Town old timer. The moment you step down off the flight and the warm scent of expectation, anticipation, and… pine trees hits you, that’s when you know you’ve landed. And the escapades begin.

For me, the love for Ibiza is an invisible, unbreakable thread, which you can make out when you stand and watch the sunset, or whilst all your hands are in the air at Amnesia, and it joins and unites us all.

You’re here for a good time, not a long time – so get yourself out there.

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SO YEAH, compare THAT to the BROKEN, EXISTENTIAL CRISIS that occurs usually from the last day onwards. The tears at the airport. The desperate calls home for collection at the other end.

Then you  think I CAN’T DO THIS EVER AGAIN – but this feeling can be short-lived (and avoided if you’re clever and party hard to start, then ease yourself back to reality) – IF you make sure that when you get home you give yourself – The Ibiza Detox.

(NB: This can be used for any kind of hangover, UK based or post-holiday blues)

Detox isn’t necessarily the right terminology, because as my Dad will tell you, your body naturally detoxifies anyway – but the Mind, Body and Soul Post-Ibiza Nourishment Ritual doesn’t quite have the same ring to it. So here we are.

To caveat, obviously the best thing would have not to have got in this mess in the first place. But that’s not as fun is it?

IBIZA DETOX DAY OFF: MORNING

If you haven’t got the day off after, then you’re either absolutely mental or you’re 18. Book it off sharpish, as this is your day of atonement and nourishment.

I know you don’t want to go outside, but I am afriad you need supplies. Green supplies. I am lucky enough to have one of my favourite shops ‘Urban Native’ (a tiny independent Wholefoods type shop on the Stroud Green Road) within a 2 minute walk. But you can prepare before you go at your local Wholefoods for some elements, and get the rest at any shop if you please. NO EXCUSES REMEMBER?

This is my new favourite book at the moment – (from my main man Dr Michael Moseley who I have written about previously in terms of fasting here. There will be a blog on the book V soon) – and I’ve pulled out this recipe ‘Happy Guts Chicken Soup’.

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HAPPY GUTS! The name is in the title people. We NEED THIS.

Without going into too much detail (saving for the book review), this will be kind to your gut, and help your body heal itself. It’s SOOOOOO EASY to want to order pizza, and eat crap all day – but why would you do that to your poor organs WHILST they are already trying to work through all the damage you did? GIVE THEM A CHANCE!

sad organs

Also, this is THE EASIEST SOUP EVER and, it’s DELISH (even my bf came back and demolished loads too).

So here is your IBIZA DETOX SHOPPING LIST…

Drinks:

  • Kefir Yoghurt Drink
  • Tumeric/Ginger shots
  • Green tea
  • Tons of water

Ingredients for easy nutritious snacks:

  • Avocado
  • Olive Oil
  • Lemon
  • Eggs
  • Mackerel

Ingredients for Soup:

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  • 1 x white onion
  • Olive Oil
  • Garlic
  • 4 x boneless chicken thigh
  • 700ml water
  • root ginger
  • 1 x lime
  • 4 x medium carrots
  • 1 red and 1 yellow pepper, deseeded and chopped
  • 1 head of broccoli, chopped
  • 1 tsp fresh thyme chopped
  • Handful of fresh parsley and coriander, chopped
  • 2 tsp fresh chives, chopped

Now for MAKING your DELISH (HEALTHY) FEAST:

Soup: Gently sweat the onion and garlic with the chicken in the olive oil in a large pan until everything is golden.

Then add the rest of the ingredients apart from the fresh herbs (I also added some stock), simmer on a low head for 60-90 minutes until everything is soft and the flavours have blended. Season with black pepper, and add the fresh herbs a few minutes before serving. THAT’S IT!

Snacks: Whilst it’s cooking, hard boil the eggs, let them cool (crack slightly and pop into cold water to avoid the evil black rim), take off the shell, cut in half, remove the yolks and then whizz them up with the mackerel – spoon back on top of the egg halves to make Lucy’s Angelic Devilled Eggs. Drizzle with oil.

Lastly, soon before you are eating (which will come after the next sections). Cut the avocado up in chunks, and pour on oil and lemon juice.

YOUR COMFORT FOOD AWAITS!

Nutritional Know-How

I always think it’s good to understand WHY foods are good, so when they go on their magical journey inside you, you can appreciate them and I feel like the placebo of happiness gives more lovely warm energy to your insides.

  • Avocados (AS IF ANYONE DOESN’T KNOW THESE ARE GOOD!) are rich in fibre and antioxidants, while lemon and olive oil help with digestion
  • Eggs are MAGIC for your liver – the secret is choline, a type of B vitamin micronutrient. Simply put, if you don’t have enough choline in your liver, it can’t move the fat out, which could lead to fatty liver disease. (Note that this is the egg yolks only, not egg whites, which only have traces of this micronutrient. Read more here.)
  • All those VEGGIES! I think we all know how good vegetables are for your body. Just think of them as happy little fellas, headed on inside to distribute the essential vitamins and nutrients your body needs to survive. Thanks GUYS!
  • Mackerel – Oily fish are basically rich in heart-healthy omega-3 fatty acids, including docosahexaenoic acid (DHA). WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? Well, in the brain, DHA seems to be very important for the normal functioning of neurons. So when you’re having an existential crisis, DHA sounds like a GREAT plan

IBIZA DETOX: AFTERNOON

Tidy house, Tidy mind

Try and make sure your room/house is clean before you go. A few clothes left from your mad packing, fine. Loads of washing up, and general dirt. No. And if you live with people, set the expectation before you go.

Wash that rave right out of your hair – (and clothes)

Get everything straight into the wash, run yourself a beautiful bath. Baths are the BEST! I promise – they’re so bloody underrated. Do it properly – some lovely LUSH bath bomb you got for Xmas that is in the draw. Go mad – chuck it all in. Put on something super chilled on the speakers – Bonobo, Sigor Ros. Or actually I’ve recently got back into Morcheeba (and Massive Attack, but that might be a bit too deep for now)…

You know the drill. Something insanely light. Nothing with too much of a beat. YOU’VE HAD ENOUGH BEATS!

Lay back so your ears go under, and breathe. In for slow three, hold for three, out for six.

Repeat until your fingers are prune like.

Once you’re out, SMOTHER yourself in after-sun (Piz Buin is my favourite), and then pop some Morrocan Oil through your sun damaged hair, tangle tease it. Pop it in some cute loose plaits if its long enough.

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All hail the greatest hair repair that ever lived!

Get into delightfully fluffy/silky onesie/bedwear.

Because you’re HAPPYYYY

Put on your favourite chuckle-along-know-all-the-words film (mine would be Happy Gilmore or Mary Poppins depending on if I want to laugh or sing, plus MP makes me cry with happiness so not always the best choice). And indulge in your delicious, kind-to-you comfort foods.

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“Just tap it in, just taaap it in. Give it a littly tappy, tap tap a roo”

IBIZA DETOX: NIGHT-TIME

Lay your clothes out ready for the next day, get into bed nice and early – like 9pm. Put on a meditation app. Lay in chakra pose (towel rolled up under your neck and knees, laid out on your back, with arms relaxed by your side, palms up).

Sleep. Wake up not entirely broken. If still a bit broken, repeat.

 

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