2017 is all about decision making. I know that might seem weird, or you think “well I am pretty good at choosing my lamb passanda on a Friday thanks”, but hold up, hear me out please.
With so much jeffing choice around nowadays, it’s often hard to know if you did make the right choice in life. We question our relationships, our careers, our friendships, ourselves – and it ain’t great for the old noggin up there.
Because every time you question yourself, or someone else does, you cast an element of doubt or guilt. With that guilt comes punishment, and again – your poor brain is the one to suffer.
Our grandparents were glad to be alive and well (war was their biggest worry). Our parents were glad to be alive, well and in a secure job (their parents wanted them to live normal lives without fear. Though the nuclear war threat also kept them on their toes). We were told (Generation Y) that not only were we to be alive, well, stable and secure – but we also needed to fulfil ourselves and achieve something. FULFILMENT?! How the Christ do you do that? And that was in a world of analogue, videos, cassettes and taping the top 40 on a Sunday.
Now in the digital age (poor generation X) not only do you question what’s inside, but you’re constantly reminded by social media that everyone else has reached that stage of fulfilment and you’re the one left behind.
Except you’re not.
The digital age has brought Kardashian levels of bullshit into our lives. It’s brought filtered faux fun, hashtagged hullabaloo (oh yeah wanted to use that word for a while, try and get it into a sentence today), it’s given us a reason to “check in” but only if that place is a good reason to show off to others.
It’s given us the selfie, the selfie stick and god knows what could be next. It has meant that now if you want to detox you actually have to quit social media. It means that people are smug who aren’t on Facebook.
It went from sharing your thoughts with friends on facebook, to sharing your sandwich filling on twitter, to just sharing a beautiful photo with a few hashtags and hardly an explanation on instagram, to sharing a three second moment on Snapchat… it feels like each stage we have lost something, each stage has dumbed us down slightly. When did we decide that we had to live a photo edited filtered life that only exists online?
If you went out and didn’t document it, did you even really go out?
Well thanks Lucy, now I feel pretty shit about myself and I thought this was all about decisions?
I am coming back to it!
Thing is, if you decided that you wanted to put up a pic because it made you happy, then crack on. But don’t let the likes be the perimeter of happiness. Let the moment be the guide.
When we make a decision to buy say, an X-Box – and it’s because you love it and you saved and it’s what you want. Then someone says “but I prefer PlayStation, you should get one of those”. Say thanks Bob but actually I am happy in my decision so let’s just leave that convo there. Because if you start to listen you’ll cast doubt, and then you’ll always have a nagging sense of “shit should I have got the PlayStation?”.
Too much choice!
Because of social media, we are constantly worried about missing out on something. We force ourselves for Tuesday cocktails and Sunday sessions because we don’t want to be the one left out of the instagrammed pic of everyone ‘having a great time’. But be confident in your choice! We NEED REST TIME!
I have finally come to realise this at the ripe old age of 30, but it took a mental breakdown for me to see it. Feel happy that you chose Netflix, pizza and onesie and DON’T YOU DARE feel guilty about it. Because, yes you guessed it, it’s not great for that grey matter up there inside your head. And also if they’re real friends they would understand and not make you feel bad for it. You shouldn’t have to make excuses, sometimes you just don’t want to go out.
So the way I see it is this. If you wake up most days and think, yeah I am happy, I have X, Y and Z in my life (it’s a good practice doing this) then feel content and FULFILLED that those are the decisions you made. If you want to wear a Spiderman costume round the house, or green lipstick then DO IT. Don’t let anyone else ever question who or what or why if it makes you happy. And make sure you don’t let yourself question it either.
And on the other hand if you’re not happy, then change it up. But you be the decider. Not what you ‘think’ you should be doing because Sandra is up Kilamajiro on facebook, or everyone seemed to get engaged or pregnant in 2016. Forget using other people’s lives as a measurement of content. If you love X-Factor and a take-away on a Saturday, or sewing, or caravan holidays then bloody enjoy it.
But also remember to stick a Nashville filter on your favourite Chicken Korma. Share the joy. Let’s get back to being happy for the small achievements, the little things, smile more. Smile for yourself and for others.
Reward yourself for making the right decision in 2017. Stick with it.
Because if YOU made it then it can’t be wrong.