This may seem like a strange post, especially as it is only my second, but I wanted to introduce you to The Fog Test. This is a full-proof relationship test that I thought of over 10 years ago and has never failed… It establishes whether a boy is worth carrying on with and therefore cuts out the awkward third date. Use wisely as remember it works best on the second date as the setting is just right – anything after this and really you know each other too well. Anything before and you might come across as a bit weird. Love to hear any feedback for anyone that tries it!

The fog test

You’re on date two. Date one went well; you chatted about your work, your friends, your hobbies. The conversation flowed pretty easy because it’s the first time you met so why wouldn’t it right?

So you’re chatting away and in the middle of the date you have to throw in the question… Where does fog come from? Now there are 4 ways a guy can react and only 2 of them lead to a third date:

1. He looks at your weird like you’ve just asked… well where fog comes from for no apparent reason. Dump him, he’s fucking boring

2. He goes, ‘urrrm haven’t thought about it’ then moves on to something else. Dump him, he’s not got enough depth

  1. He smiles and says, ‘ah it’s because…’ and informs you of the true origin of fog – he deserves a third date because he’s intelligent and he was not phased by the weird question
  1. My favourite is the ‘I’ve never thought about it, but it could be a giant smoke machine run by god/ I believe the German’s actually call fog ‘grogen’ because of its thick nature/haha f*ck knows I wonder how the fricking tides work too? Magnets etc etc etc. This is the one, because when you’re old and grey it’s THIS kind of convo that will keep you warm at night.